Naked, Masturbating Congressman!

by James Buchanan

Just when you thought Congress couldn’t get any sleazier after Anthony Weiner’s sexting habit and groping stories about Al Franken, yet another story about a pervy Congressman has surfaced, namely a video has emerged of Congressman Joe Barton masturbating.

Someone should have told Barton that the women flocking around him are not actually attracted to the fat, pasty 68 year old, but are more likely prostitutes hired by big corporations or they’re female lobbyists, who are sometimes difficult to tell from the former.

These women don’t want nude pictures of flabby old Congressmen, they just want them to vote a certain way on an upcoming bill.

It looks as though Mr. Barton had to learn this the hard way as video of him masturbating has found its way to the Internet and will no doubt dog him for the remainder of his political career, which will likely be short.

The Huffington Post reports “Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas), who apologized on Wednesday after an explicit photo of him circulated on Twitter, could be the victim of revenge porn, according to a top legal expert.”

“The congressman, who said Capitol Police are investigating the case, appears to have sent the photo, along with other images, to a woman with whom he had a consensual sexual relationship. If the person who posted lewd images of the congressman is in Texas, where Barton represents a suburb of Dallas, it would be a “clear cut” violation of the state’s 2015 law criminalizing revenge porn, said Mark Zaid, a Washington, D.C.-based lawyer.”

“’Legally speaking, as far as I’m concerned, Congressman Barton is a victim,’ Zaid, who has handled revenge porn cases, told HuffPost by phone on Thursday.”

Actually, it’s probably not revenge porn at all. Most likely a female lobbyist, who was having sex with Barton, apparently thought it was funny that this fat old perv was sending her videos of himself masturbating and she passed the video around to a few friends, not realizing it would fall into the hands of Infowars.

The article continues “Barton’s spokesman did not immediately reply to a HuffPost email requesting comment on Thursday.”

“In an interview published Wednesday in The Washington Post, an unnamed woman who said she had two sexual encounters with Barton, 68, over five years claimed he sent her intimate photos, videos and text messages. She said she did not post the photo… but did share it with other people.”

“The right-wing… site InfoWars posted a video of Barton masturbating, which the unnamed woman also showed to The Washington Post, but the video appears to have (been taken down).”

Nothing ever disappears after it’s gone up on the Internet. It’s a good bet that the video of Barton masturbating has been downloaded and copied by half of Congress, and Barton’s future rivals in his next primary and general election will at least mention Barton’s extra-curricular activities.

Does anyone really believe that these old flabby perv Congressmen are having real relationships with women or that they’re selling their votes for sex with hot lobbyists or even prostitutes hired by big corporations?

It seems as though Barton is not only corrupt, but he is astonishingly stupid. You’d think he would know not to send compromising pictures of himself. Apparently he learned nothing from the Anthony Weiner sexting scandal except how to record and send.

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